


I'm So Sorry (But Not Really)

by Comeback_Kid



Category: Supernatural, Twilight Series - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-08-31 19:32:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8590888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Comeback_Kid/pseuds/Comeback_Kid
Summary: A little twisted on the stories. Castiel is on a mission to find a way to both strengthen the grace he stole back from Metatron and find the Winchester's, but his plans are interrupted when he stumbles across Leah Clearwater and learns how to embrace his newfound humanity. Things happen, feelings arise, trouble occurs-- just a twist of stories.





	1. Stupid Humans

Cas pulled the small vial from his pocket, examining the blue and white swirling together before huffing out a soft breath and shoving the small container back into his pocket. 

The air was cold, giving a rosy hue to his cheeks as he continued through the trees- one foot in front of the other for what felt like hours. He stayed nearby a cabin he'd found a few days after falling, and slowly he'd been teaching- at least attempting to teach- himself how to be "more" human. But he was cold and he was tired... and he was... hungry. And surprisingly he was scared. The dark wasn't inviting, the night was dangerous and as much as he wanted to race through the trees and grass to the warm, glowing windows of the cabin and ask for help- he was too scared. 

And dying that early on in his newly found humanity would be exactly what Metatron would want. Hell the guy would laugh Cas all the way to heaven's prisons if that's what happened. 

He shivered against the cold, running a hand through his hair and letting his arm drop to his side after; glancing around the area he watched the light from the moon flicker off the small pond not far from the cabin. And he didn't really have much to lose- getting sick from dirty water was the least of his worries. He picked up the pace a bit, crunching the leaves and swatting at branches every few minutes before stopping and spinning around at the sound of twigs snapping behind him. "Hello?" he called out, his eyes narrowing and his chest puffing out as if he'd scare whoever it was away. "Who's there?" he heard soft steps, another crack of a twig as he started to walk backwards, quickly, awkwardly trying not to fall over. "I'm not afraid-" he claimed, the worry making his voice shake. "I have a stick and-- I'll stab you with it!" he shouted into the dark again. 

Leaning down quickly he grabbed the closest branch, an embarrassingly small stick- but pokey enough that he could do at least a little damage before dying. "I'll do it- I'm not afraid--" heavy paws landed with a painful thud against his chest, sending him backwards into the mud. The wind rushing right up and out of his lungs the moment he hit the ground- nearly coughing himself into oblivion as the massive animal towered over him, it's snarl making him shiver again, catching the way it's breath instantly fogged in the night air. He covered his head with his arms and rolled onto his side, balling himself up in the hopes that maybe being mauled would be less painful that way. 

With a quick nudge of the wolves mouth it uncurled Cas effortlessly before clamping a warm mouth around his sleeve and beginning to drag him through the mud towards the pond. If Cas hadn't been scared silent he couldn't fought back- shoved the animal off or yelled at it to spook it off, but... well, the scared silent thing. 

"You humans. Fucking idiots, all of you." Leah thought to herself as she dragged the man through the trees towards the water. He smelled like old mud and something else- apple maybe? She didn't know, the only thing she knew for sure was that he was an idiot. Kinda cute, but definitely not the tree dweller he pretended to be. Waving a stick around and threatening to poke her with it. She huffed out a breath as if to laugh as she continued pulling the man along, right to the edge of the water and then right into the water and then, for the hell of it, Leah dropped him in a heap right in the water, listening to him splash his way back to the shallow ground. And for the simple enjoyment of being an asshole to the scared human she ran right after him, grabbing him by the back of his pants and giving a sharp tug to throw him back into the deeper water. 

Cas swallowed a mouthful of the icy water before coughing again, flailing his arms and trying to get to the shallow part again, but swimming wasn't his forte and he was tired. And this-- animal was throwing him around like a chew toy. All he could think was arriving at Metatron's desk, sopping wet and having to explain he drowned because a wolf pulled him into the water by his pants. Leah splashed her paws around in the water, watching him struggle before realizing it wasn't just a scared human, but a human who honestly couldn't swim. And then she got mad. What human didn't know how to swim, fucking humans. She trudged into the water, latching onto his wrist as gently as she could without eating him, and then she started to pull him back to the shallow dry land, hacking up a lung of water before nudging the poor guy onto the ground again. With a low whine she stared at him, leaning down slightly to look him in the eye, pressing her chilled nose to his and then whining again just to see him jump back before laying down, extending her paws in front of her body and resting her chin on her arms. She was curious to what he'd do. He seemed like a runner. "Not afraid, my ass." Leah thought, rolling her eyes to herself as she laid there, already drying off from the high body heat, content in her wolf form while she waited for his reaction.


	2. My Hand Fits Your Paw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eeep! Sorry this took me so long to update, got slowed down with some bland things, but hoping to get into a rhythm with this again! Thanks so much to those who have already read, I appreciate the support and if you have any feedback or critiques to help me improve feel free to let me know!

Cas coughed the rest of the water up from his chest before leaning forward with his hands in the mud, staring at them for a long time. Well... at least he wasn't dead yet. The mud from the pond was cold against his skin and clothing, sending a shiver up his spine and down his arms until he balled his hands up lightly. He cleared his throat after that, leaning forward onto his knees Cas stared at the wolf- watching its eyes when it glanced forward to him. He dragged his hand over his mouth to get some of the mud off his face and then leaned even closer to the animal. "Why?" was the only thing he could manage to get out before the wolf was standing back up to tower over his kneeling form. He scrunched his shoulders up and shut his eyes. 

This was it. It was gonna eat him now, it just needed time to rest. Cas braced himself again, but found himself thumping back into the ground again when the wolf nudged its nose against his chest and shoved him back. "Stop that!" he finally broke, exclaiming his distaste for being pushed around like a feather. He pushed himself up to sit again, shifting to his knees and then getting to his feet. "You can't just push someone around like that- stop it-" a low, breathy bark sent his shoulders jumping up towards his ears again, the nose bumping his chest again and then again and then again until Cas swung the palm of his hand at her nose- missing his target. Leah clamped onto his wrist and swung him in a circle, letting go and raising a paw to hit between his shoulder blades and send him onto the ground again. She let out a high pitched bark of excitement. He was interesting, fun almost. Talking to her as if he thought she'd understand-- which she did, but he didn't have to know. Cas rolled onto his shoulder and glared up at the dark brown eyes of the wolf, letting out a frustrated noise before clambering up to his feet and rushing towards it, throwing his arms around it's head and shoulders- nothing more than just a hug to her as she stood taller, nearly lifting him off the ground and letting out a long howl and then shaking him off and sitting on her hind legs. "You're not a human are you?" she barked out at him, forgetting he wouldn't have any idea what she was saying. She just liked the way he was glaring at her as if he stood a chance. 

He shivered again, the mix of water and mud getting to him. His fingers hurt and his nose felt like ice and he was tired- now sore- and he felt on edge not knowing if this was some sort of predator-prey thing that giant wolves did. Riling him up before it would tear his throat out and watch him drown in his own blood. She walked slowly towards Cas, watching him puff his chest out in one valiant show of defiance, but she didn't try swinging him around or knocking him down that time. Instead she curled herself around him-- and then she pulled him back down against her so that he was nestled in between her back leg and side. She felt him struggle, could hear the panic in his breathing and the rise in his pulse, but she stayed laying there with him caught in her hold. She let out a soft whine again, shifting her head to the side so that she could look at him, try and assure him that she was helping. It took Cas a long time though, trying to free himself before giving up and flopping himself back against her side. The warm fur of the wolf suddenly making him acknowledge his exhaustion. Warm. Warm. Warm. She focused on just laying there, shutting her eyes to convince him he was safe then. She felt his head lull against her knee nearly fifteen minutes later, opening an eye to see him out cold, his breathing slow and his posture relaxed. 

He was nice like this. Sleeping. Not freaking out and yelling at her to stop playing with him. And maybe the one thing that made it all worth it was that he wasn't the sleep drooler she thought him to be. She shifted a little, feeling him slide down further against her- settling into the heat of her body. She tried at one point to shake him awake- see if he was faking it or if he was just barely asleep. But the more she shook her leg it seemed the deeper into sleep he drifted. Leah considered shifting into human form after a while- maybe she could go back and get him some clean clothes or even a blanket in case he didn't wake up for a while. She took her chances, standing slowly so that he'd just slip off her side and not wake when he hit the dirt. 

She breathed out a soft growl as he hit the dirt and rolled onto his side. Shaking out her fur for a few minutes and then suddenly standing up in human form. Leah raised her arms over her head to stretch and then leaned down to touch her toes a few times before standing straight and yawning again. "You're a weird fucker, huh?" she noted to his sleeping form. She took off for the cabin. Her cabin. God she loved living there, out in the open- hidden away from everything... well, except for this stranger now sleeping out by her pond.


	3. Ruffled Feathers

Leah dug through a few drawers- Seth had left a few things there whenever he came to visit and a couple of the other boys had left clothes behind on accident after sporadic get togethers. “What the heck am I doing?” She asked herself as she grabbed clothing for herself and a whole new outfit for the man sleeping outside.

At least she hoped he was still sleeping.

Dropping the clothes beside him she shifted back to wolf form and resumed her spot curled around him to keep him warm since his clothes didn’t seem to be drying as well. And then she let herself drift off for a little bit too-

But she was jerked awake by his sudden movement- and the speed that he sat up, ignoring the way the air caught in his throat and made his chest stop for a moment. Her ears tilted up, honed in for noise or danger, standing to–

Protect him?

She could see his hands balled up in the dirt in front of him, she watched the way his shoulders seemed to jerk up and down and how he seemed oblivious to her presence as he stared straight up to the sky.

She caught the bright color of his eyes, illuminated by the moonlight, watched the way his eyes filled up and then spilled over with tears. She moved closer to him after that, leaning against him and setting her head over his shoulder. Not even startling him. Finding herself… Sad.

He was lost.

She understood that much.

She breathed a heavy warm breath against his shoulder and neck, feeling him tilt his head against hers, a low roll in her throat settling him slightly. She wanted to change- shift into someone for him to talk to or at least-- be around, she wanted to comfort him in human form, but she wasn’t sure he could handle it. Not then anyway. But that longing stuck and no matter how hard she tried to think of reasons to just chase him off and antagonize him– she couldn’t. 

"I come from up there." he spoke, it took Leah a few seconds to realize he was talking to her-- that he was even talking really, she expected him to still be crying. He seemed like a cryer... "But I messed up." she felt him shift away from her, sitting back on her hind legs and watching how he seemed so focused on the ground, like he could create a miracle from the earth or whatnot. "I thought I was doing the right thing... I always think it's the right thing and it's not." he breathed out slowly, she watched the way the air fogged around him, knowing he was just going to get colder the longer he refused to let her keep him warm. So not only was he a crazy person, he was a stubborn person too. If she could roll her eyes she would've. "Every moment has led to this one-- but it's not a good one." he breathed out an icy breath, letting out an 'oomph' when she latched onto the back of his shirt and forced him to lay back against her again. He may be crazy, but she wasn't going to let him freeze to death. She leaned over to where she'd dropped the clean clothes earlier, dragging them up on his legs and listening to him breathe out against her fur. 

She let out a low whine, this was getting frustrating, it was like he didn't understand anything she was trying to do for him. If she blew her cover now he'd run off and tell anyone he could. She'd lose her home, her privacy-- hell she'd probably lose her life on top of that. She get up, letting him hit the ground with another thump, walking over to the pond and leaning down to drink before coming back to him, grabbing the shirt out of his hand and tossing it over his shoulder, doing the same thing with the jeans. That seemed to do it. She watched him get up and shake out the clothes before just starting to strip right there, her laughter coming out as barks. He would be that kind of person. She decided to do it after that- after he was dressed and somewhat warm again. She watched him button the jeans and pull one of the shirts over his head before she started to pace, almost like she was panicking herself. But then she changed- just like that, standing up in human form and watching his eyes go wide, "...Hey." she stated, her tone somewhat dull, yet worried. Already prepared to chase after him. 

Instead he was pulling off his clothes all over again- and that time she did roll her eyes, but she stopped when he held the clothes out to her, cocking her head to the side with somewhat of a scowl. "I brought them for you." She snapped at him, but her harsh tone seemed to do little to faze him because he was stepping closer and still holding the clothes out to her. "Is anyone even home up there?" she asked, reaching out and knocking on his forehead, much to his dismay. 

"You don't have any..." he refused to put the clothes back on, watching her glare at him, but then her glare melted into surprise, because he was talking to her as if she hadn't just been a wolf. As if she hadn't tormented him earlier- tried to drown him and then laid on top of him to warm him up. He was treating her... with kindness. And she knew it was genuine and-- and she didn't know if she liked it yet. "I have mine." he leaned down and grabbed his damp clothes off the ground and looked back up at Leah. She smiled that time and then started to laugh, laughing more when the look of pure confusion washed over his features. "...Well I do." he followed up, suddenly over self conscious. But she was the one to bring comfort that time. She walked past him to grab the clothes she'd brought for herself, grabbing them and turning back to Cas.

"It's ok. I brought mine too, You're gonna freeze in those wet clothes." she couldn't help but laugh again at how-- anticlimactic it had all gone. She'd expected screaming, maybe crying- definitely hysterics. And all he'd done was take his clothes off and offer them to her.And not even gotten mad at her insult. "I'm Leah, Leah Clearwater, I live over there." she motioned back to the cabin and watched him struggle for words to say back she pulled her clothing on quickly. 

"I'm Castiel. I live... nowhere." he held both changes of clothing and stared towards the water. 

"Come on." Leah pushed his clothes back at him and offered a hand to him, nothing like herself, but somethign about this Castiel guy made her feel-- yeah, made her _feel_. "You need to eat and sleep."


	4. Follow Me

Cas stared at Leah’s outstretched hand for a moment. Not sure whether she wanted him to hold it- poke it, or just examine it. Already unsure of following her back to her cabin.

“Living out here away from everyone has its pros, like the fact that I don’t have to explain why a naked man is coming to my house in the middle of the night.” Leah spoke, walking beside Cas and making sure he stayed beside her and didn’t wander off. “So, Castiel. What kind of name is that?”

“Mine, I guess.”

“No, I mean where’s it from, is it German, Latin, what’s the origin?”

“Heaven.” He stated quietly

What, so your father’s eccentric?“

"More like absent.” Cas replied hardly missing a beat. Leah was quiet that time, sensing the anger in his tone. She had her own story and she knew she wouldn’t exactly want Cas poking around her history either. But for some reason he just didn’t seem like the lashing out type. So she pressed him.

“Where’d he go?”

“To buy milk and lottery tickets, but he must’ve won because it’s been 2000 years and he still hasn’t brought the milk back.”

Alright so maybe this Castiel guy did have a little bite to his bark. Ok, alright Leah could handle that. “Hey… Look, I’m– I didn’t mean to make you mad Castiel, I’m sorry I know-- I know how family can be, I'm sorry.”

Cas made a face and turned to look at Leah. “I'm not mad.” True. “But I do think you think I’m crazy.” Also true. “But I’ve been crazy before, it’s different from being human.” the comment made Leah make a face in confusion that time, earning a small, quickly missed smile from Cas.

"You're one weird human then."


	5. In The Dark

Leah grabbed him more clothes and showed him around her small cabin before leading him to her kitchen table and having him sit down. "I need to look at your shoulder." she replied, shoving him down too quickly for him to refuse. "So what happened?" she asked, prodding at the open wound that was still trying to scar over. 

"Got hurt, I guess. Why are you so rough?" he asked, his brows furrowing and his lips pushing forward in a confused sort of scowl that nearly made her laugh at how childish he reacted to everything. 

"Why are you so stubborn?" she asked, quickly pulling a face at him when he shot back that he wasn't. "That's exactly what I'm talking about. So spill, what happened to your arm anyway? I mean that's honestly how I found you out there. You're lucky by the way that it was me who found you."

"I'm hunted." Cas offered quietly, staring past her. Quickly losing interest in her helping him. She picked up on that quickly, guilt settling in. She thought he was someone who operated like that. On sarcasm and rough mannerisms and she'd been wrong. She'd hurt his feelings and she knew that. He was... different. And she couldn't understand why, but she felt more compassion for him than she'd felt in years for anyone. "I rebelled and I failed and... I don't know. I'm human. This is life now." he sighed out and shrugged again. Leah watched the sadness and how heavy it weighed on him, how quickly it filled his eyes and threatened to take away that light blue color she found herself glancing at for a few too many seconds. 

"Hey... come on, don't say that." she took a seat beside him, risking it and setting a hand on his knee. "Sometimes we mess up, that doesn't mean we're failures. Look, Cas, I'm sorry I wasn't really that nice to you. I've- I have a history too, I had to get thick skin to make it. I guess I just forgot not everyone's like that." she tried to apologize, feeling the tension let up a little between them. "Now tell me about your arm. Did you fall or hit a tree? I just need to know so I know how to clean it so it doesn't get worse." she tried explaining it gentler, trying to ease his frustrations. 

"I found a bus to sleep in. It was late and I was tired." he replied, his shoulders falling somewhat. "There was a--" he paused. She already thought he was crazy and he just... was tired of people thinking of him in a way he wasn't. "another person in there. He had a knife." he shrugged again. Leah could see his apprehension and nodded quietly. 

"People are real assholes. I'm sorry." she offered him a small smile before elbowing him in the side. "Cheer up buttercup." she laughed. "Life can be pretty hard, I get it. And I don't think you're crazy so whatever you're scared about you really don't need to be. I mean I'm a werewolf so... there's not much weirder things can get."


End file.
